Charlie Sheen

Topper Harley / Rhett Butler / Superman

Cary Elwes

Kent Gregory

Valeria Golino

Ramada Thompson / Scarlett O'Hara / Lois Lane

Lloyd Bridges

Admiral Benson

Kevin Dunn

Lt. Commander Block

Jon Cryer

Jim 'Wash Out' Pfaffenbach

William O'Leary

Pete 'Dead Meat' Thompson

Kristy Swanson

Kowalski

Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

Wilson

Bill Irwin

Buzz Harley

Heidi Swedberg

Mrs. 'Dead Meat' Thompson

Bruce A. Young

'Red' Herring

Ryan Stiles

'Mailman' Farnham

Ryan Cutrona

Captain Margolis

Don Lake

Doctor

Kelly Connell

Air Controller

Tony Simotes

Ambulance Driver

Don Luce

Paramedic

Jimmy Lennon Jr.

Ring Announcer

Marie Thomas-Foster

Francine

Pat Proft

Lawrence Lipps

Marc Shaiman

Piano Player

Cylk Cozart

Drill Sergeant #1

Christopher J. Keene

Drill Sergeant #2

Jimmie Ray Weeks

Amish Man

Annie O'Donnell

Amish Woman

Charles Barkley

Charles Barkley

Eugene Greytak

Pope John Paul II

Tony Lorea

Humphrey 'Bogie' Bogart

Jerry Haleva

Saddam Hussein

Elston Ridgle

Boxer #1

Christopher Doyle

Conspiratorial Crewman