Max Beesley

Wullie Smith

Isla Blair

Sheila Bailey

James Cosmo

Billy Bailey

Richard E. Grant

Gorgeous Gus

Laura Fraser

Rosemary Bailey

Ian Holm

Big Tam

David Hayman

Scrapper

Tom Sizemore

Buffalo

Neil Morrissey

Piss Off

David O'Hara

Mechanic

Iain Robertson

Danny Van Boy

Michael Nardone

Dingus

Bill Paterson

Tommy

Gary Lewis

Dead Eye

Ron Donachie

Happy Feet

Pierce Brosnan

John MacGhee

Samantha Fox

Patsy Kennedy

Sally Howitt

Carol McGhee

Jonathan Watson

Charlie

Russell Barr

Nancy No Pants

Alan Shearer

Himself