JJ Feild

Liam Adams

Leo Gregory

Charlie Braithwaite

Kuno Becker

Santiago Muñez

Kasia Smutniak

Sophia Tardelli

Anya Lahiri

June

Nick Moran

Nick Ashworth

Christopher Fairbank

Foghorn

Mike Elliot

Gordon

Craig Heaney

Phil

Tamer Hassan

Ronnie

Ori Pfeffer

Mad Film Director

John Salthouse

Newcastle Manager

Gary Lewis

Mal Braithwaite

Tereza Srbova

Katja

Margo Stilley

Tamzin Adams

Antonia Bernath

Britt

Erin Lister

Ani-Frid

Jakki Degg

Cute Masseuse

Anna Maria Everett

Old Masseuse

Gabrielle Richens

Marjorie

Tia Thomas

Production assistant

Paul Humpoletz

LADA Taxi Driver

Daniel Cowley

Paramedic

John Motson

Self

Russell De Rozario

Bucharest Boiler

David Beckham

Self

John Terry

Self

Frank Lampard

Self

Jamie Carragher

Self

Owen Hargreaves

Self

Peter Crouch

Self

Rio Ferdinand

Self

Joe Cole

Self

Gary Neville

Self

Ray Clemence

Self

Jermaine Jenas

Self

Aaron Lennon

Self

Wayne Bridge

Self

Steven Gerrard

Self

Wayne Rooney

Self

Sven-Göran Eriksson

Self

Ronaldo

Self

Hernán Crespo

Self

John Aloisi

Self

Fernando Torres

Self

Thierry Henry

Self

Filippo Inzaghi

Self

Ruud van Nistelrooy

Self

Olof Mellberg

Self

Henrik Larsson

Self

Cristiano Ronaldo

Self

Andrew Shue

(uncredited)