Mark Wahlberg

John Bennett

Mila Kunis

Lori Collins

Seth MacFarlane

Ted (voice)

Joel McHale

Rex

Giovanni Ribisi

Donny

Patrick Warburton

Guy

Matt Walsh

Thomas

Jessica Barth

Tami-Lynn

Aedin Mincks

Robert

Bill Smitrovich

Frank

Patrick Stewart

Narrator (voice)

Norah Jones

Norah Jones

Sam J. Jones

Sam Jones

Tom Skerritt

Tom Skerritt

Ralph Garman

John's Dad

Alex Borstein

John's Mom

John Viener

Alix

Laura Vandervoort

Tanya

Robert Wu

Asian Man "Ming"

Ginger Gonzaga

Gina

Jessica Stroup

Tracy

Melissa Ordway

Michelle

Kristina Ellery

Heavenly

Chanty Sok

Angelique

Sarah Fischer

Sauvignon Blanc

Josh Duvendeck

Guy #1

Chris Cox

Guy #2

Henry Penzi

Partygoer (Ted's Buddy)

Colton Shires

Teenage John

Eric Weinstein

Stagehand

Robin Hamilton

Female Newscaster

Mike Henry

Southern Newscaster

Chris Everett

Wife

Tara Strong

Bellybutton (voice) (uncredited)

Ted Danson

Ted Danson (uncredited)

Ryan Reynolds

Jared (uncredited)

Olivia Jordan

Party Guest (uncredited)

Alexandra Creteau

Club Patron (uncredited)

John Franchi

Tourist / Pedestrian (uncredited)