Mike Myers

The Cat

Dakota Fanning

Sally Walden

Spencer Breslin

Conrad Walden

Kelly Preston

Joan Walden

Alec Baldwin

Larry Quinn

Amy Hill

Mrs. Kwan

Sean Hayes

Mr. Humberfloob / Fish (voice)

Danielle C. Ryan

Thing One

Brittany Oaks

Thing Two

Dan Castellaneta

Thing One / Thing Two (voice)

Victor Brandt

Narrator (voice)

Daran Norris

Announcer

Frank Welker

Nevins (voice)

Clint Howard

Kate the Caterer

Paige Hurd

Denise

Steven Anthony Lawrence

Dumb Schweitzer

Paris Hilton

Female Club-Goer

Candace Brown

Secretary

Danny Nero

Man in Street (uncredited)

Brian George

Sanjay (uncredited)